Today I lifted weights. Or maybe since I am in such an 80s mood today (more on that later) I should say…I pumped some iron. This is incredibly new to me. I’ve done countless squats in my life, for example (most of them in June) but never with actual weights before. Luckily for me (since I am too much of a broke ass mofo to join a gym yet) there was a random barbell and bench sitting in my garage, so I’ve put them together and put them to good use. My workout can probably best be described by this helpful summary I wrote when I was done:
I felt sick and had wobbly legs for ages, but in a way that felt good, like I’d actually done something. Which tells me that I’m doing something right. It tells me that I am actually capable of doing this regularly.
The other New thing I did today was watch me some Jean-Claude Van Damme movies. I had never seen him in action before (action – geddit!?) but now I have and let me tell you…he’s fantastic. I have been laughing my ass off for hours.
Bloodsport is amazing to me on so many levels. The tone is set in the first minute, when an army officer goes looking for Van Damme in the showers and you feel 98% sure that he will be naked and they’ll start fucking. In fact, with the oh-so-80s photography and cheesy porno score, this thing threatens to turn into a gay porn at practically every moment. Beyond that, this movie has the most amazingly bad flashbacks of all time, and comes complete with a laughably-incongruous slapstick chase scene thrown in the middle. It’s brilliant. I have had such fun watching this that it makes me want to see all the Van Damme movies there are.
Like Death Warrant, which was more cheesy goodness, although in a much grittier setting. It’s the only movie I can recall watching where I saw someone being burned alive at two separate points. My favourite moment was at the end, when (spoilers) JCVD is being chased by literally every inmate in the prison. Cheesy popcorn shit like this is so much fun, just turn your brain off and enjoy. I now love Jean-Claude Van Damme.