Day 184: Going Under

That was a song by Evanescence wasn’t it? “I’m going under (going under) / drowning in you (drowning in you)” …music video where she’s underwater…right? I’m not imagining it am I? I dunno, I can’t be sure today because this morning I went under anesthesia for the first time.

Not for anything too major, but nevertheless I’d never been put to sleep or had any significant medical procedure before. So just to continue the relative shambolic state of my life, my poor uterus was unceremoniously invaded this morning. Because I’m not having enough fun lately I guess!

And what’s more, I was totally ripped off! Not by the doctors or anything, but by the anesthetic. I got played. As I’m getting the drip put into my hand this lady goes “Now we’re just going to relax you first before you go to sleep. You may feel like you’ve had a couple drinks…” And I thought sweet as bro! I’ve never had a drink in my life, this could be my chance to feel drunk without getting drunk! Or at the very least a little tispy, a little light-headed. But before I can even fully process this serendipitous opportunity BAM – lights out! Next thing I know I’m waking up hours later, post-vag violation, and totally bummed at missing my chance to get wasted. What a shame. The zombie-esqe post-op fog just isn’t the same.

I wish I had more to say but after sleeping for most of the day I still feel pretty zombiefied. Not sleepy, but tired. And oh my poor uterus. So hopefully I can get back to regular posting duties tomorrow.

(Also tomorrow: a trivia night! I could not possibly be more excited. I live my life for the day when someone asks me the capital of something. Tomorrow could well be one of those days.)

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