Day 122: “I get so fussy when I’m on my own…”

I love that song (End of Fashion “Fussy”). Today was another wonderful morning of high tea, another day of bold courage in the face of Foods That I Would Normally Not Eat Because I’m Picky.

I remember when I was younger, after I refused to eat certain foods I’d get some variation of “oh you’ll grow out of it”. To which I scoffed because, let’s face it, if I don’t like the taste of something, there’s not much I can do about it is there? I can’t exactly reason with my tastebuds.

So as it turns out, like a lot of things we are convinced of as teenagers, I was completely and utterly wrong and I did, in fact, grow out of my distaste for a lot of foods. I never used to eat eggs, broccoli, avocado, sour cream, cream, soft cheeses, strawberries, non-white bread…just off the top of my head, there’d be heaps more examples. I never used to be able to handle more than about a tablespoon’s worth of veggies in any one meal – a couple of pieces of carrot and beans, and I’d even eat that reluncantly. Now, the first thing I do when I cook a meal is try to shoehorn as many veggies into it as I possibly can. I love vegetables, something I would have never thought possible ten years ago.

So I wonder if I will keep becoming more tolerant of food as I grow older, because I’d probably still be classed as a bit of a fussy eater. There are a lot of things that people swear by that I don’t like the taste of: tuna, salmon, grapes, cherries, watermelon, etc. Salad. I still can’t get anywhere near salad. Everything about it, everything that you could put in a salad turns me off: lettuce, raw tomatoes, cucumber, raw carrot, nuts, mayonnaise, Balsamic vinegar, dressing of any kind. Ick. Like I said the last time I ranted about food choices, one of the things that I have to try this year is to eat an entire salad. Frankly I am not looking forward to this challenge at all, because I just don’t like eating raw veggies, and I have no idea how I am going to make a salad palatable enough to eat in its entirety. We’ll see.

Still, I feel like I’m slowly but surely shedding my hang ups about food. A couple of years ago I’d never have eaten the things I ate today: egg sandwich, a ham sandwich with spinach and mayonnaise, a fruit tart, a scone with fruit in it…this all may sound simple to you, but to a fussy eater like me, it’s the kind of stuff that I’d flat out refuse to eat before. So as small a victory as it may be, it’s still a victory to me. I’ve said before on this blog that the me of 12 months ago would not recognise the me of today. Sometimes that has come from pretty significant changes or major life events. And sometimes, it comes in minute, incremental changes, invisible to the human eye. I don’t feel any less fussy than I did yesterday, but I sure as hell feel less fussy than I did a year ago. Everything adds up. Every little, seemingly minor “new” thing I get to do, they all add up in the end. And at the end of this year I am going to be a very different person to when it started. Go me.

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